Thursday, September 17, 2009
Interesting envelope from Great White Father in Washington, D.C.
A large buff colored envelope showed up in today's Uniformed Government Messenger drop-off.
Now, a regular human might ask, "What the frap is/does Buff color look like?"
Ah, I would tell you but then... Oh well. Every Military wannabe or be knows that anything mailed by the gubmint is wrapped in a made up color envelope.
I suppose this is a rambling way to make fun of Buff. Or, this is something that might explain why indeed, did Lucky Strike Green go to war?
Anyway, I get this offishul envelope that reminds me of other times and places.
The good news is, no header saying, "Greetings..."
From: Commander, Navy Personnel Command (PERS-912)
To: Barco Sin Vela II, USN (Ret)
Subj: RETIREMENT ORDER AND AUTHORIZATION FOR TRANSFER FROM THE FLEET RESERVE TO
THE RETIREMENT LIST
Ref: (a) Title 10 U.S. Code, Section 6331
Blah, blah, blah.
"Your dedicated service to the Navy and your country is deeply appreciated. May you enjoy every success and happiness in the future.
Signed, S.H. Chaney, Director, By Direction (PERS-91)
At first glance, all I saw was the header, and suddenly had a feeling that I was being recalled to Active Duty.
That, my friends, would be one of those Good Deal/Bad Deals. Today, all this letter does is let me know that:
I am off the hook.
I am vapor.
I am the baloney without the mayo.
The flash without the BANG.
"Don't go away mad... Just go away!"
Friends; I am oh-yew-tee of the service, subject to recall only if the J.R.O.T.C and the Sea Cadets run out of fresh Swabs during a large scale action!
Too bad I don't have the inclination or urge to smoke dope. This might be a good time to try it all out. So many of my friends from the seventies and eighties were tossed out of the service for just that little issue, they feeling that it was a horrible little inconvenience to not be allowed to smoke wacky tabacky or snort foreign substances up their nozez. Following regulations wuz just. too. hard.
Since I kept away from the illegal substances, I get to keep receiving that nice little check every month; As a thanks for the twenty years, ten months, twenty nine days, fifteen hours and thirty minutes of loyal and honorable service. Or as my esteemed friend Phil might say, "Twenty years of undetected crime."
This could be a good time to explore "Living an Alternative Lifestyle". The only problem is that I already have a girlfriend. We don't bicker and fight, so that is about as alternative as it gets. Perhaps we could break some UCMJ regulations in the privacy of our home. Like Beer to Whisky; Mighty Risky.
I feel like an outlaw, already!
Fuhgeddaboutit. We will just keep on, keepin' on, with no adjustments to our clarity, vertical or horizontal.
No congrats or acknowledgement of this thirty year milestone is required. Little care other than some humor is all I care to have today. I hope all of my fellow retiree's share the laugh I am enjoying concerning this little letter. It was all no big deal on my part, but we must all be dilligent in protecting the rights of the future Military Retiree's. They are the ones being asked to shed blood and lives, today by a Government who might decide soon that half or three quarter pay is far too generous a retirement plan for these fine Soldiers, Sailors, Marines, Air Force Zoomies, and especially Coast Guardsmen who are providing that Thin Red Line of protection from the Terrorist Savages who threaten civilization.
Of course, Congress and the Senate will continue to draw their own very lucrative pensions, since they had to Work. So. Hard.
This evening, it will be a Commissary run to reload our food supplies.