Bad old jokes

Stolen from here

SMART DOGS
Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were.

The first was an IBM employee,
who said his dog could do math calculations.
His dog was named "T-Square"
and he told the dog to go to the blackboard and draw a square,
a circle, and a triangle, which he did with no trouble.

The Ford employee's dog was named "Slide Rule."
He was told to go fetch a dozen cookies,
bring them back,
and divide them into 4 piles of 3 each,
which he did.

The AT&T company employee said that was pretty good,
but he told his dog "Measure" to go buy a quart of milk
and pour seven ounces into a 10 ounce glass.
He did it perfectly.

The three of them agreed that their dogs were pretty smart,
and they all waited to see what the City of Jacksonville employee's dog,
who was named "coffeebreak" could do.
At the snap of his owners fingers,
"coffeebreak" strolled over,
and ate the cookies,
drank the milk,
screwed the other 3 dogs,
claimed he injured his back,
filed a workman's compensation form,
and went home on sick leave.