Thursday, September 17, 2009

Interesting envelope from Great White Father in Washington, D.C.

A large buff colored envelope showed up in today's Uniformed Government Messenger drop-off.

Now, a regular human might ask, "What the frap is/does Buff color look like?"

Ah, I would tell you but then... Oh well. Every Military wannabe or be knows that anything mailed by the gubmint is wrapped in a made up color envelope.

I suppose this is a rambling way to make fun of Buff. Or, this is something that might explain why indeed, did Lucky Strike Green go to war?

Anyway, I get this offishul envelope that reminds me of other times and places.

The good news is, no header saying, "Greetings..."

From: Commander, Navy Personnel Command (PERS-912)
To: Barco Sin Vela II, USN (Ret)


Ref: (a) Title 10 U.S. Code, Section 6331

Blah, blah, blah.

"Your dedicated service to the Navy and your country is deeply appreciated. May you enjoy every success and happiness in the future.

Signed, S.H. Chaney, Director, By Direction (PERS-91)

At first glance, all I saw was the header, and suddenly had a feeling that I was being recalled to Active Duty.

That, my friends, would be one of those Good Deal/Bad Deals. Today, all this letter does is let me know that:

I am off the hook.



I am vapor.

I am the baloney without the mayo.

The flash without the BANG.

"Don't go away mad... Just go away!"

Friends; I am oh-yew-tee of the service, subject to recall only if the J.R.O.T.C and the Sea Cadets run out of fresh Swabs during a large scale action!

Too bad I don't have the inclination or urge to smoke dope. This might be a good time to try it all out. So many of my friends from the seventies and eighties were tossed out of the service for just that little issue, they feeling that it was a horrible little inconvenience to not be allowed to smoke wacky tabacky or snort foreign substances up their nozez. Following regulations wuz just. too. hard.

Since I kept away from the illegal substances, I get to keep receiving that nice little check every month; As a thanks for the twenty years, ten months, twenty nine days, fifteen hours and thirty minutes of loyal and honorable service. Or as my esteemed friend Phil might say, "Twenty years of undetected crime."

This could be a good time to explore "Living an Alternative Lifestyle". The only problem is that I already have a girlfriend. We don't bicker and fight, so that is about as alternative as it gets. Perhaps we could break some UCMJ regulations in the privacy of our home. Like Beer to Whisky; Mighty Risky.

I feel like an outlaw, already!

Fuhgeddaboutit. We will just keep on, keepin' on, with no adjustments to our clarity, vertical or horizontal.

No congrats or acknowledgement of this thirty year milestone is required. Little care other than some humor is all I care to have today. I hope all of my fellow retiree's share the laugh I am enjoying concerning this little letter. It was all no big deal on my part, but we must all be dilligent in protecting the rights of the future Military Retiree's. They are the ones being asked to shed blood and lives, today by a Government who might decide soon that half or three quarter pay is far too generous a retirement plan for these fine Soldiers, Sailors, Marines, Air Force Zoomies, and especially Coast Guardsmen who are providing that Thin Red Line of protection from the Terrorist Savages who threaten civilization.

Of course, Congress and the Senate will continue to draw their own very lucrative pensions, since they had to Work. So. Hard.

This evening, it will be a Commissary run to reload our food supplies.


JihadGene said...

I did 11 years active duty Army and I miss my soldiers looong time but stay busy through Soldiers Angels and such organizations. It's a good thing!

Buck said...

Ah... we Zoomies have no counterpart to the Fleet Reserve. When we're done, we're DONE. Or so I was told. The point is moot, tho, what with me coming up on being 25 years removed from my 22 years of semi-military service. Or would that be 22 years of undetected crime? Which: truer than you might think, in my case. :D

Barco Sin Vela II said...

That "Fleet Reserve" business seems a little odd. But having spent all that time on active duty, I figger the Fleet Reserve is a way to keep their hooks in you, mebbe bring you back in just to get Court Martialed for whatever you might be doing as a civvie.

Prolly just a way to be able to man up a fleet if the "big one" goes down. They brought back retired Battleship men for the Eighties Battlewagon revival.

As far as it all concerns me, the Fleet Reserve is a club where the ol' lifers hang out boozin' and smoking.