Wednesday, October 31, 2012

I got this test sent via email (More humor)

The goal of the test is to find out if I'm a Democrat, Republican or Southerner. I'm a Republican with tendencies to Triple-Tap. (Why fire one round down range when three can ensure a dropped target?)

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be  found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted  street with your wife and two small

Suddenly, a Terrorist with  a huge knife comes around the corner,
locks eyes with you, screams  obscenities,  raises the  knife, and charges
at you . . .

You are carrying a Kimber 1911  cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches  you and your  family . What  do you


Democrat's  Answer:

Well, that's  not enough information to answer the question!

What is a Kimber 1911 cal . 45  ACP?

Does the man look poor or  oppressed?

Is he really a  terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?

Have I ever done anything to him  that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I  possibly swing the  gun like a club and knock the knife out of
his hand?

What does the law say about this  situation?

Does the pistol  have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun  anyway, and what kind of message does this
send to society and to my  children?

Is it possible he'd  be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me,  or would  he be content just to wound

If I were to grab his knees and  hold on, could my family get away while he
was stabbing  me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so  deserted?

We need to raise  taxes, have paint & weed day .

Can we make this a happier,  healthier street that would discourage such
behavior .

I  need to debate this with  some friends for a few days and try to come to
a consensus .

This is all so confusing!

. . . . . . . . . . .  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . .  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Republican's  Answer:


. . . . . . . . .  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . .  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Southerner's   Answer:

Click . . . . . (Sounds of reloading)

Daughter: 'Nice grouping,  Daddy!'
'Were  those the  Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '

Son: 'Can I shoot the next  one?!'

Wife: 'You ain't  taking that to the Taxidermist!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Palate Cleanser

I have been unhappy with all of the bad stuff going on both here and abroad, and it has been depressing. A few days back, I watched "Alice's Restaurant" for the 30th time but not in recent years.

Arlo Guthrie (like his father Woody) is a fine American entertainer, and I have liked his more popular recordings whenever they happened to play on the radio. He is a one hit wonder, times three. Just like Buffett.

This is a great video in which Arlo describes his respect and gratitude to the various law enforcement agencies throughout the years in a most humorous way. Please to enjoy Arlo Guthrie:

If you watched the entire video, you should feel a bit happier and mentally reset for da fewtchums.

There is a trip to the airport in my immediate fewtchums, in about an hour and a half.

Monday, October 29, 2012

This is getting ugly.

Our President and his Administration, along with his running dog Main Stream Media Lackeys are not on the side of American Citizens, especially overseas. Or here, for that matter.

This video is something that people need to see how our Main Stream Media has become an enemy of our people, for whatever their reasons may be. If Benghazi had happened under any other Administration, there would be 24/7 coverage with plenty of screaming for the heads of all who lied and covered up the facts of that day. Fact: The Ambassador was tortured and killed. This man was a direct representative of the President and of our Nation, and nothing was done to protect him. In fact, the Administration tried to conduct business as usual and tried to sweep this tragedy under a rug so as not to hurt the reelection possibilities of the Administration. How can our senior leaders be so disconnected?

None of us are physically safe now, especially overseas.

I try not to get too involved (other than humorously) with most political issues, but this hurts all Americans and does not make us safer. If the Press is so involved/enamored in keeping one person in office, I have to ask, Why? A press that works both sides to find the truth ultimately serves as a vigorous defense against tyranny, whether from the left or right. But when that press is working for its own reasons, well, Stand the F*&% By and keep your weapons at the ready. This is the sort of trouble that gets us involved in wars and such.

Oh well, watch the video and react as you will. Vote appropriately, and do not buy or support news vendors who refuse to do their jobs and report events that occur. It is not the job of the Press to make the present circumstances, just to truthfully tell the story.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Yay, Friday is back!!!

I always enjoy a Friday, the week is finished and we can get back to doing the fun stuff that the weekend always promises.

The news channels are in faux-freak out mode about the The Storm in the Bahamas, as if it was the promised end of the world. Breathless reporters wearing shrimper boots and foul weather gear, standing on breeze swept piers being drenched by a gentle drizzle... you know the stereo-type?

It is a bit cloudy out this morning, I will give you that.

We turned our Jalopy in to the Factory Authorized Wallet Cleaning Facility to check on a buzzing sound coming from the exhaust system. They cleaned out some gravel and called it good, no charge. But the bad news is that they found a fault code on the suspension system that requires pumps to be removed and replaced, pricing at about $2500.

WTF? This work was done six months ago...

So I spent 45 minutes on the phone discussing the past repairs to the very same system, "...and don't you have a warranty for life on repaired systems???" I then read out the receipts and maintenance logs that I had filed by our computer.

We have a new Service Advisor (The old one who knows me vividly is out with injuries and for a month) so I had to bring "Zoee" up to speed on past maintenance and asked the whys and how comes that some of the work needed wasn't done before?

Anyway, it's fun to be the valued customer who has spent many thousands on repairs at one place. The good thing is that this is all covered by somebody's warranty, whether mine or the repair facility. I really ran the poor lady up and down the flagpole, heh. She was a good sport and I told her to not take it personally, but she better do her homework and study the records, because I have. Look, I think about me and mine all the time,  a Service Advisor only looks at your chit for a few moments and considers plans of action without knowing all of the past on a particular vehicle.

This is our regular Advisor;
The Charming Cheri D.  Advisor Extraordinaire!

I am missing her and hope she gets well quick. She knows our car and more importantly, how to understand me. (Cheri knows I will have a momentary melt down while she describes the repairs and costs necessary to keep the Truckster properly running) Our wallet is depending on her... But we do get to use a 2012 Loaner Car that has unlimited mileage and we can turn it in empty of fuel. This is why we use the Dealer for our maintenance, because we get a free car to drive which eases the pain of being car-less while they fiddle around blindly with the innards.

Drive it like ya stole it, right? (Nah...)

I like Friday, but it's going to be a quiet weekend,  so have fun out there!

I have been busy this morning; Made a run to the local Wine and everything store. It was a zoo in there, today is the Florida-Georgia Drinking Day, so everyone was in there purchasing their libations.

The good beer was all gone so I got a keg of Fosters. It was the only non-light beer available that wasn't Yuengling.

I also got the Spousal Unit two cases of Pinot Grigio and a couple Chiantis and Chardonnays.

All libations are put away in their proper settings. Bruce; Would you come by and help with the beer?

Thursday, October 25, 2012

We can find conservatives in the most bizarre places!

Harper's Bazaar did a story on Linda Cummings (AKA Linda Ramone), wife of the Late Johnny Ramone, who was the scowling and angry guitarist for the punk band, "The Ramones".

The magazine placed a photo online of Linda inside her kitchen and I was very amused to see some of the memorabilia placed for everyone to see;

Note the Reagan Country signs!
Photo property of Harper's Bazaar
A true Punk to the end, Johnny was his own person and his political views were opposite of many others in the music industry, who are mostly/generally in lockstep with those on the left.

Johnny Ramone sets it all straight when he says, "...God Bless President Bush, and God Bless America".

That's Punk Rock. Right in their faces...

I am definitely looking forward to November 6th, let's get this all over with and get back to work.

And stay healthy out there... ok?

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Some tune-age to go with the previous post

Some Beachside Buffett and great pictures, too.

I don't smoke anything... but I think we should legalize ganja. Why not? Nobody ever had the energy to do a drive-by shooting after doing the sacred herb.

Maybe rip off some donuts from 7-11, I guess. Funny song.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Yet another Travelogue

Yep. We did indeed make the big trip and have returned to tell the tale.

We were scheduled to leave by four o'clock Friday, but I was waiting for the UPS delivery of the Spousal Unit's Prize which did not show by five-fifteen. So we hit the road a bit later than was optimal, oh well. I didn't know that the lateness of leaving would affect us at the other end, because it was dark at the island!

The St George Island dwellers are very much in tune with the protection of the endangered sea turtles who nest throughout the area beaches. So a local ordinance makes it illegal to have outdoor lights shining in the direction of the water from April to the end of October. This meant that we would have to search for  a half hour for our beach house. You either know where it is or not. Believe me, we were lost. We drove up to the wrong house at least six times.

I was unhappy.

We finally got in at ten fifteen, a bottle of white wine and champagne were opened to ease the tension from the trip. We admired the dark beach from our balcony and finally got with the spirit of the weekend.

The next morning we were up with the sun and enjoyed brekkies on the balcony. Our neighbors commented on our previous evening's fumbling about to which I answered that I was miffed, too. But the lights have to be off for the turtles, so I understand...

Wreckage from last night
We took a careful walk on the beach (Ankles!) trudging about a half mile on the sugary sand.

Note; I saw a shark swimming later on, about five yards out. It was trolling for children and pets, I think.

We saw thousands of butterflies. Everywhere!

View out front to the road.

Port side neighbors


Other view of upstairs

 After cleaning up, we went to the center of the island to have lunch by the shore. The place was called the "Blue Parrot". I guess the name was pulled from the film, Casablanca.

The food was pretty good, we had a dozen oysters and a basket of crab claws. (My first time.)

Note the butterflies in flight.

More butterflies next to my beer.
We had the house for two nights and we wanted to stay a third. Since our house was unavailable for Sunday, we went to the St George Inn and scheduled a stay for Sunday night. All business was complete, so the Barco Crew went to our beach house to relax and begin slow cooking a rib roast. (200 degrees and two hours...)

While enjoying a beer on the balcony, I spotted a shark swimming along the shore. I didn't run down to video the fish because I figured it would be gone by the time I got my gear and trotted there. Wrong. The shark cruised back and forth for about fifteen minutes.

My apologies for failing the reader on this account. That's ok, I also missed a shooting star that came down off the beach at eight o'clock the next morning, we heard it and saw it flare out in the sunlight.

Dinner was held at sunset and we had a very nice Languedoc Red with the roast beast. After relaxing over some more wine and beers, we closed the house up at around ten o'clock.

The Lone Chair in the Sunset

Lights out for the Turtles!

We cleaned up the house and were underway by ten on Sunday morning. We took a drive over to Apalachicola, and admired the nice Marathon runners who were all over the roadways and bridges. It was a beautiful sunshiny day, the kind that make you glad to be in Florida. It was about 75 degrees with unbelievably clear skies. Definitely a rag-top day!

Shrimpers in Scipio Marina, Apalachicola  

Downtown Apalachicola, Hwy 98

We enter an old tourist shop in downtown Apalachicola. The gregarious shop keeper sold us a couple of t-shirts and showed us a film starring John Hurt, which had the shop keeper (John Lee) played a small part as a local Southern Sheriff. Cool story and fun to watch the film bit! We then went into the "Bowery" and had lunch on the waterfront.

Sunday morning in Apalachicola

Upstairs at Capt Bob's Seafood Restaurant


Trawler anchored in the distance

Funny sign
Dr Gorrie Museum, inventor of the Ice Machine and Air Conditioning. Blame Dr Gorrie for opening Florida to the world!

Driving the bridge.

I felt pretty welcome to St George Island!

Checked in to the St George Inn. 
We planned to stay at the Inn and finally go out to the club across the street called, "Eddy Teach's".
It was a fun evening of music and meeting some very interesting people.

We met an Air Force Retired guy at the bar, who was chatting with another interesting person who was in the medical research field. So I get involved with the conversation and everything was going nicely, until the Air Force guy had to go. He was walking across the parking lot (using his cane for support) when everything went wrong... I watched our friend fall in a heap into the gravel, landing face first. I was up and running from the bar followed closely by the medical guy. We got our friend up into a chair with some ice on his face to help staunch the bleeding. 

Picture the three of us, and then the owner lady comes out and we all pondered what to do... The Lady wanted to call the EMT, but the medical guy didn't want to do that... See, the EMT was allegedly off in another bar, hammered. He would not be of any use and the police would probably get involved, along with Fire and Rescue.

I asked if there was a possibility of getting a cab for this guy, I'll even pay for it... Nope. No taxis on the island!

The only solution was to pile our injured friend into his pick-up and drive him home. I will follow in my truckster and bring back the medical guy.

So that's what we did, only we then had to walk our friend up three flights of stairs. Our injured friend has limited mobility due to hip issues and a previous stroke, so we had our hands full. We got our friend upstairs and then got him undressed (he had an accident; nuff said) and left him on a comfortable chair. We refused the money we were offered, we did this because he was a veteran and we would not let him down.

Driving back, my new friend was commenting about the trouble he was going to be in with his wife. Seems he was only supposed to be out for a few minutes and not the hour we spent. 

I said, "Yeah, but we had to do this good deed. Just explain that to the Missus".

When we got back to the bar, the owner greeted me and I told her she owed us a couple beers, which I did receive later on. My tab was adjusted for $20 bucks, which I gave as a tip to the hard working bar staff.

Eddy Teach is the Go-To place on St George Island!

They even had a Led Zeppelin tribute band playing in the parking lot. Too. Much. Fun!!!

Some of the Local Talent.

Somebody from Traverse City who had left their mark.

The owner's Jag.

We parked well clear of everyone else.

The Lady on the right lived at St Katharine's Dock in London while we were there in the late 90's.

View of Eddy Teach's from our sitting area at St George Inn.

Lighthouse at St George Island which marks the the commercial area of the island.

We left the bar at about nine o'clock, and stumbled our way across the street back to our outside sitting area where we could observe the crowd and listen to the music in a cheaper style. With wine and cheese for a night cap.

Monday morning we were up early, as usual. The decision to drive home via two lane highways was made and we departed St George Island. We turned on to Hwy 98 heading East along the Florida Shore.

Barrier Islands off of Florida's Pan Handle

Old Rest Stop on Hwy 98

This is pretty much what we saw all day on 98 and 27

We were glad to get the chance to be off of the Interstate, the speeds were usually about 60 and there were hardly any other cars with us for most of the trip. Interesting factoid, we were able to see four prisons while on the old roads. I thought of the Gulag Archipelago, a chain of prison islands surrounded by razor wire coral reefs, in a sea of pine trees.

We stopped in Mayo Florida for a barbecue sandwich and a break. We turned left onto highway 27 and then connected with highway 90 which brought us back to Jacksonville.

This was waiting for the Spousal Unit's return; Tahitian Pearls.