Thursday, March 15, 2012

The countdown begins

There was a visit to the airport last night. I arrived with plenty of time to allow for Delta Airlines to do their job at 0006 (12:06 Ante Meridian for those keeping a time sheet) in the morning. Nope, they were delayed by half hour, which is what Delta does. Delta is ready, when you ARE.


So I found the Spousal Unit's Mom and we headed South to the Serenghetti Spa and Veldt Lounge (Home of Wilbur, the Wildebeest!) driving the wet deserted streets and highways.

There, sharing the road were cops, drunk drivers and us. Ooh Rah! But we made it home safely and sat down to unwind. I served warmed up meat loaf leftovers and ice cold  Pabst Blue Ribbon served fresh from the kegerator. The Cats came out to welcome our guest and make nuisances of themselves, just like grandchildren around grandparents. Yowling, "Whatcha got to give me?"

The arrival of The Mom Unit means we are four days and a wake up from the dreaded event at the Vet's, I mean Hospital.

She may look harmless...

Next week's fun and frivolity will literally leave a mark and make drastic changes in our hedonistic lifestyle. So, there is plenty of nervousness to spread around which is why we brought in the Spousal Unit's Mom. There are many years of Mom advocacy experience in dealing with Doctors, Nurses and other health professionals towards the care and treatment of the Spousal Unit.

It is known world-wide that I may indeed fly off the handle with little provocation and aim sarcasm, ill wit, mean words and outright hostility towards anyone who is not providing the level of care I expect for She Who Will Be Obeyed.

Naturally, we also understand how reluctant a caregiver becomes when having a loud jerk like me hanging over them while they try to do their darn jobs to ungrateful clients.

So enter the calmly persistent and non-threatening Mom Unit. The Spousal Unit's Mom Unit is a Mark One Mod 0 Mom Unit made back in the days of the Beaver Cleaver Time Continuum. A Mom Unit stayed home and was an advocate for her family, cooked from scratch, was/is healer of illnesses, balancer of small budgets and referee to interfamilial squabbles. The Mom Unit protected home and hearth from all bad things and became a skillful hunter gatherer when it applied to her family's well being. Many years did this Mom Unit do battle with various Hospitals and health authorities back when hospitals were places where one went to die. Only The Mom Unit managed successfully keep my favorite Human not only alive, but to grow and thrive! (Bad poetry, I know...)

The Mom Unit's family values. 

Oh, yes. The Mom Unit knows which questions to ask and how to work the system, patiently and in a loving manner, too! It also helps that the Mom Unit has a slight hearing disability and uses a hearing aid which may work or may not work, depending on what need to be accomplished. (Secret weapon? T.I.N.S: She reads lips.)  This tool is also a strategy, as it causes her to "not fully understand what her opponent is saying..." and for that opponent to be disarmed thoroughly by skillful rewording of supposedly mundane questions, like; "I don't understand why we can't have ________ (Fill in blank with anything), or; "I understand your people have a wonderful reputation for caring for ________, did you know I am an artist and former Keweenaw County Commissioner for ________?"

The Mom Unit has spent the last 18 years writing up grant requests for Public Programs for Kids in Northern Michigan. She won the Michigan Governor's Award for Public Service and advocacy ten years ago. One of her fellow Awardee's that night was some entertainer named Smokey Robinson, they had a fine chat about ten feet from me that night in Detroit. I think This entertainer had something to do with music in the last century, not sure if it was considered cool, but there you have it.

In other words, The Mom Unit knows how to pry  the Shekels from the tight fisted Well To Do. And also how to get the influential to do what they should because we all feel better for their "service" to the Community.

See what I'm driving at?

As you can tell I believe in bringing the proverbial Nuke to a Knife Fight. Winning "Ugly" is still winning.

And The Mom Unit enjoys fun. Believe it!

Sometimes a Cigar is just what is needed. Her brother is getting concerned.


Ken n Cheryl said...

Wishing you all the best, and so glad that you've got some extra help. It sounds like your "spousal unit" will be in great hands!

Barco Sin Vela II said...

Thanks! We will endeavor to persevere, as always.

Buck said...

Bringing a "Nuke to a knife fight" is the ONLY way to fly! And MomCare during a recovery of any sort is not only desirable, it's the best of all possible worlds. And a Mom who likes cigars, too. Wow. +100.

Barco Sin Vela II said...

I knew you would appreciate the cigar photo!

Thanks for the note.

Barco Sin Vela II said...

I knew you would appreciate the cigar photo!

Thanks for the note.